Apple inspectors visiting a factory

First of all, Chairman Meow would like to congratulate Apple on their latest earnings this quarter. Your company is now even bigger than other much respected American company, Exxon!

However, after listening to earnings conference, Chairman Meow realize what Apple’s secret is: Apple uses elves to make their toys at North Pole!

In order to make so many presents to keep American children happy, Apple used labor of 500,000 tireless little workers. Plus, all Apple had to pay them was about a dollar an hour, which is just enough to pay for candy canes and hot chocolate!

Well done Apple CEO, Tim Cook… or should I say, Santa Claus!

No wonder you make $378 million last year; about the same annual compensation as 100,000 of your little elves!

Chairman Meow

Chairman Meow Sez: You know, most of teh time when a person dies, Chairman Meow iz saddened. Chairman Meow think, “what if they haz a kitteh at home waiting for them?” Or, “who iz going to water their house plants?”

Other timez, Chairman Meow think maybe it waz just their time.

The latter iz the case in this story. Iz story of bad Chinese man who made billion dollars from chopping down trees, then ate poisoned cat soup and died.  Read story

January coupon:

Chairman Meow Occupy Boston - Thanks for the photo, Ali

Chairman Meow’s Presence at Occupy Boston: The ideas of Chairman Meow have been central to shaping the global Occupy movement, as is evident in this photo taken by a kitteh sympathizer of Occupy Boston.

Although the Occupy Movement has been criticized for lack of specific direction, Chairman Meow’s goals for the movement are simple. He envisions a world where 99% of Americans have access to good health care, rewarding jobs, and warm kittehs. (The remaining 1% would be former CEO’s working long hours as indentured servants in Chairman Meow’s catnip fields) Viva la Kitteh!

Chairman Meow Sez, “In a world of increasing inequality, teh legitimacy of institutions that give precedence to the property rights of “the Haves” over the human rights of “the Have Nots” iz inevitably called into serious question.” David Korten – Chairman Meow

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Cat w/ Loudest Purr In the World?
Smokey the cat may be the loudest purring cat in the world. Smokey purrs at up to 92 decibels, while most cats peak around 20 decibels. That’s louder than a large truck idling across the street, difficult to hear the tv over, and probably the reason that Smokey has ousted from 7 homes already. Well, he must be happy about something.

Coupon of the week: Create a photo book or holiday cards with this 40% Off Mixbook Coupon

u knowz this iz bad lucks, right?

I'll show YOU how to hold a cat!

Curse of the Black Cat? – Obviously not a friend of the kitteh, Kim Kardashian is seen in a 2010 photo shoot mishandling a black kitteh. As everyone knows, disrespecting a black cat results in years of bad luck.

Also, according to Pagan legend, doing so can curse the offender with, “a huge ass.” (Before miss Kardashian, it was believed that statement referred to being cursed with a “large donkey”)

In any event, today’s news of Miss Kardashian’s divorce from Kris Humphries (released on Halloween Day!) seems to confirm the curse of the black kitteh…

This shocking video has been sent to Chairman Meow recently in response to his warning last week to “remain vigilant around green apples.”

After receiving this unspecified threat from a trusted source embedded in a dangerous-sounding country, Chairman Meow is proud to report that kitteh owners have heeded his warning, and as of today, ZERO kittehs have been injured by green apples. This represents almost a 50% decline over the expected injury rate for this time of year, so much credit must be given to our Honorable Leader.

Please stay tuned for more non-specific terror threats.

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Willow the cat

After five years, Willow’s owners had long since given up on finding the lost cat. Still living in Colorado, they were understandably shocked this week to get a call from an animal shelter in NYC confirming that Willow had been found.

How could a cat from Colorado turn up on 20th Street in NYC? (A top secret mission from Chairman Meow?) No one knows yet, but they were able to track down Willow’s owners because she had been microchipped; a process involving a microchip the size of a grain of rice & costing less than $100 that has already reunited some 600k lost pets with their owners. Read story

Mila Kunis in September British Glamour Magazine Photo Shoot

Chairman Meow approves of this photo… That is all.

Street Art featuring Chairman Meow Propaganda

Chairman Meow is most honored to be the subject of street art in the UK by Throne, Cam One & Gazmac. May all who see this propaganda fall to their knees in kitteh patriotizm! (This didn’t start teh recent riots, I hope?)

Surrender to the Kitteh Revolutionz!

Taylor Swift may be the latest celebrity pawn of the Kitteh Revolution. Photographers captured Swift engrossed in this Kitteh propaganda book, recently approved by the Kitteh Ministry of information called, Cuddly Kittens.

Cuddly Kittens is one of only nine books listed in the library of Congress that Chairman Meow has given his approval to.

taylor swift with her cat

Great Leader Chairman Meow notes that Cuddly Kittens offers “much important knowledge of the kitteh without putting crazy liberal ideas into the mindz of today’s youth.”

Benevolent Leader Meow has reportedly assigned Taylor a militant cat of her own named, Indi, who uses his snoring to create sleep deprivation; making her mind even more compliant to the ideas of the Kitteh Revolution.