walgreens_stock photos christmas cards

chairman meow

chairman meow

Walgreens: bold use of Holiday stock photography – Nobody likes stock photography. Most of the time, working with it as a designer is about as exciting and inspiring as applying hemorrhoid cream. However, if you find yourself creating a brochure for a new Senior center or a website about erectile dysfunction, you might have to bite the bullet and use it once in a while.

That’s exactly what Walgreens has done with their latest holiday card designs; each one churned out with all the love and enthusiasm of a sausage grinder.

Here are a few of Chairman Meow’s favorite bold uses of stock photography on Walgreens holiday cards, which can currently be found on their site at: www.photo.walgreens.com/cards

Walgreens Christmas Cards: Keeping the “ASS” in christmASS

walgreens christmas cards photo couple

Here’s one of their most popular design templates for Christmas Cards this year, called “Christmas Festive.” You see, just like “The Ford Family,” (pictured above) you can feature 3 photos of your own family in this stylish 3-photo Christmas card. It’s hard work getting those kids to smile for the camera, and apparently much easier to just cut the little bastards out completely. (personally, I think they should have cut that guy out too) Well done Ford Family; stay classy!

Happy Kwanzaa from Martha’s Vineyard

walgreens kwanzaa cards

Walgreens Kwanzaa cards: As you know, Kwanzaa is a week-long holiday celebrating African heritage, including the deep African roots of the Mwanajuma family. (pictured above) I can just imagine these parents saying, “Put down your Djembe drums, kids; it’s time to read “‘The Principles of Blackness!'” Well, one of the seven principles of Kwanzaa is creativity, so maybe Walgreens was just trying to be ironic with this card?

You don’t need to be Jewish to send out Hanukkah cards

hanukkah cards walgreens

Ah, yes; the annual Hanukkah (Chanukkah?) card from the Schwartz family. Hey kids, don’t crush Uncle Hershel and Aunt Ester in that pile-up! I know it’s probably racist to think that black people aren’t Jewish; why, there have been countless famous African American Jews like Sammy Davis Jr. and… (Sammy Davis Senior?) Never mind; great choice of stock photography, Walgreens!

Walgreens Holiday folded card: photo collage (without text)

walgreens christmas cards babies

As you can see, Walgreens lets you use up to 12 pictures in their photo collage cards. Why limit your Holiday card to photos of your own family, when you can feature up to 12 random babies on one card. I like how they ran out of baby photos, and started using the same ones twice on the same card. Sending out a Christmas card like this one will certainly confuse family and friends you haven’t talked to in a while! Bold artistic vision, Walgreens!

More Holiday stock photography inspiration

Now that Walgreens has stoked your own creativity, please feel free to use this stock photo of a cat on your own Christmas, Hanukkah, or Kwanzaa cards, courtesy of Chairman Meow.

cat stock photo walgreens

*Coupons: You can find coupons for Walgreens Photo here, but if you actually want creative and stylish Christmas cards, check out these coupons for holiday cards from Tiny Prints!

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cow burps farts global warming

chairman meow

Teacher Chairman Meow

Cow farts will destroy your shore house – Well, that’s only half the story; Cow belching is actually even worse, and is already fueling wild fires in California and causing wars in Northern Africa.

Although you know that Chairman Meow never lies, you’re probably a little confused, so allow me to elaborate.

Cow farts cause global warming, droughts & wars

Agriculture, including cows, are responsible for about 20% of the world’s greenhouse gasses that cause global warming. The worst culprit is methane, which is 20 times more powerful than carbon dioxide, and also what cow farts are filled with.

In fact, experts say that the average cow can expel about 200 liters (50+ gallons) of methane each day through belching and farting. That means a cow creates more air pollution every day than most cars!

Global warming causes droughts and famine which leads to war. You already know that the assassination of Archduke Ferdinand caused World War I, but did you know that cow farts might start World War III?

Why do cows fart and burp out so much methane?

farting cow

farting cow: prepare for war

Cows are part of a class of animals called ruminants, and they have four stomachs where they digest their food instead of intestines. Although it sounds funny, having four stomachs is actually a pretty inefficient way for an animal to digest food. Cows eat food and then regurgitate it again as cud, (then burp and fart a lot) and eat it again.

In order to break down their food, cows stomachs are filled with bacteria which ferments food. That process is the mail culprit for the actual methane production that causes them to burp and fart.

Ironically, we feed cows “fast food” which causes them to fart a lot

Although you might think of “fast food” as being made from cows, we actually feed it to them as well in the form of cheap, fast-growing grass. (Not to mention the practice of feeding cows chicken poop and sawdust, or ground beef which is even worse!)

In order to grow grass for cows to graze on, many farmers plant perennial ryegrass, which grows quickly, and in huge quantities; especially when you use copious fertilizer. The issue is that ryegrass (and cheap substitutes like sawdust) lack the nutrients that cows need, and they are hard to digest.

So, what happens when cows have trouble digesting the garbage that we feed them? You guessed it; a lot of burping and farting. The ryegrass and cheap feed ferments in cows’ stomachs, where it produces massive amounts of gas. You thought that cow farts were funny, but did you realize that they caused the extinction of the black rhinoceros?

An area the size of Asia is needed to feed our cows & livestock

cow farts map

area needed for livestock

Did you know that over 26% of the land (not covered by ice or water) is used to feed the world’s 1.5 billion farting cows & other livestock? That’s almost the size of Asia, which is pretty damn big.

The worst part about this is that we continue to clear more land every day, much of it in rain forests, so that cows have more room to eat, belch, and fart. Basically, we make a daily effort to remove trees (that help us remove greenhouse gasses) so that we can replace them with 1200 pound fart-machines that also require huge amounts of water. Forget Taco Bell; that’s a horrible recipe for beef if I’ve ever heard one!

*Please don’t use this coupon for free shipping from Omaha Steaks

New Zealand tried to tax cow farts (and belching)

About 35% of of greenhouse gases in New Zealand come from livestock, which is about double the global average. In an effort to curb methane production, the government of New Zealand proposed a “fart tax” in 2003. Angry farmers took to the streets to protest the tax, which was quickly voted down. (I’d hope that if such a measure were proposed in America, our own leaders, like Sarah Palin, would defend our constitutional right to 44oz sodas, fracking, and gassy cows as well)

cow_farts global warming drought

Reduce global warming (and cow farts): don’t eat beef

Nothing will benefit human health and increase the chances for survival of life on earth as much as the evolution to a vegetarian diet.” —Albert Einstein

“I declare a holy war against farting cows” – Chairman Meow

give up red meat

give up red meat

Here comes the (crazy liberal?) message behind all of this. There’s nothing better to do for the world than to start eating less meat. The world’s population is expected to grow an additional 30% by 2050, and the number of livestock is expected to double during that period. Obviously this is unsustainable, especially when we are already seeing the deadly consequences of climate change.

If we eat less meat, then fewer trees will be cut down so that cows can eat, fart, and destroy our planet. Giving up beef is one small thing you can do that is positive, and healthy. It’s cheaper than buying a hybrid car, gives you more energy, and helps you lose weight, too!


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